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Am I a Bad Hockey Mom?

Yes, I have forgotten team snack before. Yes, I have forgotten equipment and scrambled to borrow certain pieces. Yes, I have even taken my kid to the wrong rink for a game (thank god we were early and had the time to haul ass to the other location)

But am I a bad hockey mom?

I don't cuss out the ref, beat up other parents, think my kid is better than everyone else or make disparaging comments about the opposing team.

But tell someone you aren't doing any ice for the summer and the guilt kicks in.

First there's a pause, then the deer-in-the-headlights look, then "no ice?" "at all?" For most parents this is very puzzling as there is a dazzling array of clinics, tournaments and camps available during the summer but we have elected not to do any ice time.

Their puzzlement feels like judgement. Am I not serious about her career? Career? The last time I checked she wasn't getting paid!

Worse yet it is implied  that SHE is not serious enough.

It's tough to explain to everyone without sounding defensive. We spent last summer in practically a hockey free zone and this season was her best ever. 2nd place in her team's division, 2nd best goal tending percentage in her division type of best ever. But see how defensive that sounds?

I guess the real question is, why do I feel the need to defend it?

Hockey suffers from the same syndrome that parents today suffer from. KEEP THAT KID RUNNING RAGGED. We have been instilled with the idea that kids need to be kept busy 24/7. And if we don't? We are bad parents.

But I've seen burn out and would hate for her to get tired of it and quit. Why? Is it because I think she belongs in the NHL or Olympics? No, because she loves it and it's good for her. But even with things that are good for you, everything in moderation.

So, to keep my guilt from raging wildly, I consulted her coach. What did HE recommend? His answer? "No ice, yoga, pilates and oh yeah she needs to get crazy...all the good ones are crazy"

That works. Although I think we are doing fine on the crazy part. 

Am I judging parents who spend their summer on ice? Hell no! It's different for everyone. Ice, no ice. Working out, no working out. Whatever works for YOUR kid and quite frankly your sanity. I promise I won't judge.

But still despite my feel good attitude about taking a break,  when someone asks me about it, I just say "the coach made us do it". No better way to keep guilt at bay than to blame someone else!

Here's to your hockey-FILLED or hockey-FREE summer!

PS Got some guilt you wanna share? Leave a comment and we can do group therapy!

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