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Wardrobe Malfunctions..Not Just for Celebrities


I can tape a stick, buckle a leg pad and carry on a conversation with the coach, simultaneously. But it wasn’t always that way. There was a time when strapping on pads meant 30 minutes of sweating and swearing.

The first time my daughter ventured on the ice in pads was during a private lesson. The coach insisted that I strap everything on without his assistance. Greaat. I complied though and after that 30 minute sweaty session I produced the tightest strapped in goalie ever to grace the rink.

It didn’t take long before I realized my error. First save and she flopped to the ice face down. No worries, happens all the time. But she doesn’t get up. A couple of minutes pass and she is still face down like a mini beluga whale that is stranded on a beach.

Without hesitation the coach skates over and hoists her up by the back of her breezers and sets her on her skates. Noticing me by the glass he yells “not so tight next time mom!”.

Hmm, seems my “tightening” was the equivalent of strapping 2 wooden boards to her legs. It was that she didn’t want to get up, she COULDN’T get up!

Not that she hasn’t had other wardrobe issues. In typical goalie twitch fashion, she has had the following “problems” with her equipment and accessories:

-Hair headbands which she claimed “squishing” her brain

-Wrinkly socks that impeded her skating ability

-Helmets that were too loose or too tight..or a combination of both in a matter of minutes

-A blocker that was too stiff and in a fit of diva-ness was thrown at me (don’t think the goalie didn’t get a good talking to after that!)

It is common knowledge that goalies are a different breed, made worse by the fact she’s a girl, so I know that more wardrobe malfunctions are in store..but guess what? Next year she is a second year squirt and I am not going anywhere near that locker room!

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